Saturday, February 5, 2022

6am in January

I woke up alone in her bed for the first time, wrapped in her blanket, wondering where she was and when she'd be back. The house was first quiet, then there was the sound of a group of people, all women, who had come to the house to visit for the night. I could hear them talking in the kitchen, and I heard her voice mixed in with theirs. I contemplated emerging from her room to include myself, and began to concoct an imaginary question I could ask her which would justify my presence; but I couldn't think of one. 

Before I could leave the room, she opened the door slightly and peeked in. "Hey," she said. I asked, "Would you like me to stay the night?" and she said "I'm not sure if tonight is best, and there's something else we need to talk about," and without a kiss goodbye, she left me pensive in thought.

So I gathered my belongings. I recalled the day before, flying my drone through a factory with her, paddling around the shore with my dog, and spending last evening listening to the waves on her back porch, getting to know her better. It was the first time in a long time that I could remember feeling at peace, and at home; perhaps falling in love.

So I looked around for something to leave behind a note for her. I found one, and started writing a letter. As I began the letter "Dear....  " I realized that I couldn't remember her name. And as I started to assemble the rest of the pieces, I also realized that I was already at home in my own bed, because I was waking up from a dream and I had made the whole thing up. 

It was just some strange amalgamation of previous experiences.