Hopes and Aspirations

I would like to be a filmmaker. Not just any filmmaker though. I don't want to make horror films or films that just make people laugh. But the kind that seriously impact peoples' perception of reality. The sort that you walk out of the theater feeling a newfound perspective on the world in which we live. Hopefully an enlightened and empowered perspective.

This all started before I ever had a camera. It probably began the moment while watching a movie I wondered, "How did they do that?" Once I started thinking in those terms, it became a little more difficult to watch films objectively. As I grew older, it became increasingly difficult to watch a film and to just enjoy it, without being consumed by questions about what was going on behind the scenes.

I've never made the full connection between writing and filmmaking. Usually most of the stuff that I've produced, in terms of film, has either been paid for by a client or entirely unplanned. I used to see all my friends with the potential to be great subjects of films but I'm still dialing in the method by which I can make that possible, by understanding the mentality behind people; we are subject to the awareness of the camera. I hope in my lifetime to conquer and comprehend.


Me and Filming Stuff

I was involved in a car accident when I was 19 years old. I had already known that I wanted to produce media in life, but it wasn't until then when things started to change for me, perspectively. I began to think about the world in a very different way. I started to think that each and every moment was a rare opportunity to experience it. And I didn't quite feel this way before that accident. It wasn't until after that occurred that I began filming everything. This was before phones had decent cameras. I carried around a DCR-HC30 everywhere and filmed stuff like my friends at the skatepark.

October 2014: Waterfront Farmhouse

I just moved. 

There have been times when life had been so incredibly full of misfortune for reasons beyond my control. This is not one of them.

So much is beyond my control I can't describe, and I'm trying to have faith in whoever is writing this story that I'm living. Trying to understand.

I was at Miya's and one of the waiters offered me something not on the menu. "Do you need a place to live?" he asked. I said, "Yeah, actually."


Dave said, "Because we got this place, out in Branford and it's really nice. If you want to come see it, you can just drop by or whatever. It's in Short Beach." And so one day I drove my motorcycle over to see it. I was impressed beyond words, of course for all of the conventional reasons. The proximity to the water. The architectural complexities. There was a feeling I felt, though, which I hadn't felt in a really long time. And words that entered my mind and struck a chord in my heart: "You are going to find yourself here. You were meant to be here now."
I don't know if those were Tom's words, coming to me through the Aether. But I kind of hope they were, because I feel his presence all around me. I see details and architectural nuances. I'm a conduit for spirits because I allow it. I tolerate the thought of the possibility that the spiritual world could actually exist. That's why my life is so mysterious and magical, I think at times. It's because I allow myself to experience it.
The Tom whom I refer to is Tom Luckey. He built the place. I met him very briefly in 2010 when Greta Hotopp took me to see him at his other farmhouse, elsewhere in nearby East Haven. She told me I was going there to help him with his slideshow for his Pecha Kucha, but I think it was really just so I could meet him. This was after his accident, so he was quadriplegic and had difficulty communicating. He's passed since; just recently. Eric Epstein, a dear friend and mentor, was also good friends with Tom. I really like Eric, but I never got a chance to really know Tom. All I know of him is his work, as the creator of Luckey Climbers.

Luckey Climbers are a kind of childrens' playground that you might find in museums like the Boston Childrens Museum, as well as many other places if you check their website. Tom's son Spencer is still involved in building these all around the world. Walker will also become involved once he discovers how to implement more electronics into the climbers. One of my purposes here is to help him with that.

I love it here. I live in the home of a mysterious man, friends of dear friends of mine; father of Kit Luckey, my all-time most favorite bartender and also someone I wish I knew more. People I could potentially imagine as family. I am home.

The house was designed and built by a man who built children's playgrounds.  Keep that in mind when you see the giant rock wall which is effectively the large doors behind the kitchen. He built around the rock and created a room for it. On top of the room, there is a small structure which I have no idea how he built, but this could be used as the SpacePirate cavern of the future. Who knows.

The Stairs up the Rock Wall in the Back

A very rudimentary staircase is carved into the rock, using these metal bars which have been fastened into it. They're secure, but there's not much to stand on. You have to be kind of careful with it in order to be safe. But once you get up there, you find a place which has fallen into some disrepair. A leak in the roof caused major chunks of sheetrock to saturate with water and fall to the carpet. This also ruined the carpet as well. So there needs to be some repairs in there.
I plan on potentially using this area as my new SpacePirate technology museum. I was commissioned by ArtSpace in 2010 to install it in a New Haven Register delivery vehicle. If there were ever a good home for such an electronic art project, I think this might be the place.

The Room at the Top

This room needs fixin'

Before that happens, though, there is so much work to be done. I need to carefully remove the fallen sheetrock and vacuum the debris. Then I need to patch up the ceiling, which won't be too difficult but definitely needs to happen. Then it will be back in order again. Bringing items into the area will be much like bringing things into the barn. I wonder what the significance of that is.

All I know is that this is where I belong. It's going to get cold here this winter but it will be worth it. I will really feel the seasons. I'll especially feel the summer next year. 

Looking Down

October 2014: My New Office.

So I have a new office now. It's on the 7th floor of a tower downtown in New Haven. I have my own desk, my own chair; my own cuppa coffee.

I sit there and write blog posts for TownGreenDistrict.Com usually; or occasionally fix information on InfoNewHaven.Com's site. Occasionally I Twitter stuff for the City on the InfoNewHaven account. One time the whole office email went down and a website was offline. I fixed most of the problem in less than 24 hours, considering it was a major server error. It was a great way to start the job on week two.

I thrive in environments where I'm challenged. I think that's why I like this job so much. The reason I got this job in the first place, in case you're wondering since I don't have a computer science degree and I taught myself whatever random stuff I know, is because I had a really good photos on my Instagram account, make really good videos, and know how to build websites.

It's the last part that I think gave me the position.  It's kind of amazing when you think about it. I built all this stuff for free, using largely bootlegged software on borrowed computers. It's been a process to learn it all throughout my life. And somehow, in some way, it's finally paid off. Doing free public relations for the city has paid off in a position where I'm literally now in a position where I'm the guy hired by the city to take videos of the mayor at downtown ribbon cuttings. Things like that. It certainly isn't where I expected to be about a month ago. Back then, I was homeless, remember? I literally went from having nothing, to having everything I could ever want; in such a short period of time.

 I always wanted to live in Branford. I always wanted to have a kayak and go wherever I wanted all day long. I always wanted a motorcycle. I wanted cool roommates and an amazing house, all to ourselves, with a beautiful front porch with a dining room table on it, lots of space, a climbing wall behind a spacious kitchen.

Just think, I was living in a building with no heat, electricity or running water just a few months ago. How can I be so fortunate? What gives me the right to find such happiness? Every day is a struggle to find ways of understanding and expressing appreciation for all of it.

We will continue to rock out.